Picnic By The Motorway

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A Year On


The twins turned one on Saturday and I’m in a state of disbelief. How is it those tiny little 2kg babies we brought home from hospital are now hulking great big one year olds?

Time did its thing, I guess, and on it marched. Now Jude’s cruising furniture like he’s gearing up to walk pretty soon (LV took his sweet time and took his first steps at 19 months, so this is new territory for us) and Maisie’s favourite thing is to be clever and smart and copy noises and faces and pretend to talk on the telephone. It honestly feels like just a few months ago they were bony little newborns who slept all day and didn’t scream the street down and try to squirm across the room at every nappy and clothing change.

While it doesn’t feel real that I have twin one year olds, I am certainly wearing the physical effects of a year with two babies. And a toddler-turned-preschooler. I have sprouted heaps of stray grey hairs, my skin is dry and angry with me, my face is patchy and there are quite a few wrinkles who popped in for a cuppa but have outstayed their welcome.

Also, I drive a minivan. There’s definitely no escaping it now, I am a Mum. Right now I am wearing grey marle housepants for crying out loud. I haven’t had breakfast or brushed my hair. Ugh, I’m such a cliche.

I dived into the parenting pool with great intentions of maintaining a strong sense of self and nurturing my relationships with friends and family outside of these four walls, but I accidentally got very tired and there were so many nappies to be changed and so much washing to be hung out.

I see photos of other mums taking their three, four, even five children out and about to the park, the museum, swimming pools, beaches, markets, the zoo… and I think, what the hell lady?! Perhaps I’m doing it wrong, but after I’ve got everyone ready to go out and packed them all one by one into the car, the twins are usually due for a nap within the hour and I’m just too blimmin’ exhausted to face wrangling them all out in public on my own. And inevitably one of them poops just after I’ve belted them in.

(By the way, Maisie doesn’t nap in the car but Jude does – that’s just not an option for us. Naptime is the only thing that keeps me sane, and no picture-perfect trip to the waterfront is worth getting them out of sync for)

So I’ve put my head down and just mooched around the house a lot over the last year, but the good news is I feel like maybe, just maybe, we’re getting over the hump. The babies are much better at staying awake longer and I’m finding more ways to keep them entertained. Plus, here’s the kicker with twins, they’re starting to play together more (and fight too, but let’s not taint this sentiment). Not only does that warm the cockles of my heart and is incredibly cute to witness, but it’s also quite handy if I need to shoot off an email, do the dishes or cram a donut in my face.

What I’m trying to say here is, without wanting to jinx it, I think things might get a bit easier from here on in and I might actually be able to participate in the wider community again soon. I shall have to work on my hair-brushing skills.

There have been some exciting developments in our little corner of the world lately which I’m keen to tell you about, but the babies are napping and the washing machine just told me another load is ready to go on the line, and I’m hoping I might be able to eat some toast before the wee monsters wake demanding lunch so I best head off.

It’s been nice to chat, and despite all the moaning up there, please know all is good with us and I love my small team of children fiercely. Sure, I’m looking forward to the day-to-day being not quite as relentless as it has been, but honestly? I wouldn’t trade the last year for anything.

15 Aug 14







4 Feb 15

7 April 15

16 April 15

4 June 15


1 Feb 15

12 may 15

Aug 2015

4 Jan 15

Jude 7 July 15

Jude 13 July 15





Life in bullet points

Yes, hi. I’m still here – though the tumbleweeds have been blowing around a bit, haven’t they? Sorry about that. I guess I’ve been busy. Also insanely tired all the time. I’ve had such great intentions of updating the blog – many a time over the last few months I’ve sat down to write an entry and then a child has needed me, or a TV show has distracted me, or I’ve straight up fallen asleep on my laptop. My laptop computer that is, not the actual top of my lap. Snigger.

It can get a bit weird when I haven’t posted for a while. Like when you meet up with a friend that you haven’t seen for ages…

If you’d been in regular contact you could just get straight into a conversation about the small stuff – like how something has been up with the freezer door and it keeps popping open if you close the fridge door above it too enthusiastically, or how nice it was to be a parent help for your son’s first daycare field trip, or how your eyes have been rubbish since you were pregnant and so you had an eye examination a few weeks back and now have to wear glasses when driving.

But having not seen each other for some time, you sort of have to cover off the big stuff in broad strokes before you can get back to shooting the breeze.

So let’s do some housekeeping. I’ll bring you up to speed with the more significant developments in our world so we can then carry on with the minutiae of everyday life from there, okay? And I’m going to use bullet points, because I have some fairly strong A-type leanings and as such I love a good list.

  • The babies are now coming up nine months old (what?!)
  • Victor turned three on Wednesday (also what?!)
  • Stella recently underwent surgery to remove a cancerous tumour, but don’t panic! She’s just fine for now
  • We’ve been chipping away at work on the house and are just a couple of planter boxes and a laundry do-up shy of a fully renovated bungalow
  • Joel spent a lot of time away for work earlier this year and I realised that solo-parenting is the hardest thing ever
  • I’m back into running and am working towards a half-marathon
  • The kids are getting a new cousin in August via Joel’s sister
  • I’ve been hosting a podcast recapping The Bachelor NZ with some pals from The Spinoff and it’s been a heap of fun
  • My parents just sold the family house
  • The Block NZ is happening on our street this year
  • I’m pregnant

Haha. No I’m not. NO WAY DUDES. Just messing with you. Aaaand the bit about running is complete rubbish too. I put that in there to momentarily make my life seem balanced, which it totally is not – it’s just kids kids kids kids kids forever and ever, amen. The rest is all true though, including that stuff above about the freezer door, being parent help and having to wear specs.

See, here I am wearing specs whilst hanging out with my BFF


I know it looks like I’ve accosted Matilda at a media event and that I’ve made my tipsy co-podcaster snap a quick shot of us, but that’s not the case at all. Tilds and I are actually really… okay, no, that’s exactly what’s going on here. That said, she is genuinely a fan of the podcast and will be joining us in the Fantasy Suite this week, so you should probably listen if you’re any sort of Bach fan.

Okay, way past my bedtime now. If you follow me on Instagram or are a fan of the PBTM Facebook page then you will have had your fill of pics of the kids, but for those who haven’t seen them since they were tiny little dots, here are some relatively recent photos of my little team.

LVIMG_5623IMG_1067IMG_1026 IMG_1136 IMG_1174 IMG_1021